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A Condom is a Girl's Best Friend.

I was talking to a girlfriend about condoms recently, and she asked me why my boyfriend and I were still using condoms if we'd both been fully tested for STDs and were in a monogamous relationship.  Like with any lesson hard learned, I was eager to share the why.

Here's the absolute truth:  When you start having sex with someone new, you should get tested for STDs, AND you should be using condoms.  And it's important to hold this as your personal, no-exceptions policy.  That way, it's not about the guy, or the relationship, it's about you and what you do - always do, no matter what - to protect your sexual health.

A couple of years ago, I was in a monogamous relationship where the guy waited to have sex with me, got tested, then cheated on me and had unprotected sex with me after that.  During the relationship, it never once occurred to me that he would ever do that in a million years.  I was admittedly naive, but I've learned my lesson.  Had I had my current condom policy then, I would have been spared the level of fear I lived in for many months while I waited for my second HIV test.  (My doctor tested my blood at 3 months, and then again at 6 months to give me the all-clear.)  I was also lucky that all my other tests came back negative as well.

It's not about whether you trust your partner.  For me, it certainly feels natural to trust my lover to value my sexual health as much as I do, since I don't have sex with anyone I don't trust, respect and care for A LOT.  Unfortunately, people can surprise us, so the way to be is the way that protects you no matter what.  Take it all the way out of the trust conversation, and just make it a personal health policy.

Any guy who gives you a hard time about that is a guy you should walk away from.

I was reminded of my personal condom policy when I read this article:  Teens Neglect Condom Use in 'Serious' Relationships.  I can totally relate.  Until recently, I never used condoms in a monogamous relationship when we'd both been tested. 

I was wrong.

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Comments

This is a great article. One can never be too safe when it comes to your health---especially your sexual health. I had a similar scare a few years ago that sold me on condoms for life. LOL!

Liz-

Condoms ARE a girls best friend. My friends and i learned about Elexa on MySpace and now we swear by them...and get tested too! i highly recomend getting an Elexa free sample, i think you ladies link to it below, http://www.elexabytrojan.com/sample.aspx.

Keep up the good work!

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