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Fantasies: Fear or Fear Not?

Recently, I said that masturbating is not cheating. Yes - I still believe that. But there is more to that story. Here it is: Sexual fantasies (no matter how bizarre) are completely normal. We might be married or otherwise involved, but we aren’t dead. If I lost all interest in hot musicians, aging celebrities, or the guy who gives me my Grande Skim Vanilla Latte, I would know that my sex drive was over. We’re alive and our fantasies are indicative of that.

Think about it. Fantasies can work wonders on a stale sexual relationship. Some women become intimidated by their own fantasies. Hmmm...if I am dreaming about someone else, maybe I am falling out of love. Maybe I should cheat? Maybe, this is a sign of things to come. No, actually, fantasies are just that, fantasies. Instead of becoming uncomfortable – it would be best to use elements of our fantasies in our real life. Okay, we might not actually have a threesome with an anonymous stranger, but if we think about the dream more closely, it begins to make more sense. What did this “extra” person look like? What was he wearing? What was he saying? You can incorporate those aspects of the fantasy into your own bedroom; without risking a break-up.

I have always assumed that my husband fantasizes about other women – Angie Everheart, Elle MacPhearson, maybe even someone closer to home. Contrary to popular belief, that vivid imagination is not a character flaw. He can visually turn on to someone else, but he chose me. And even if we are attracted to others, we only go home to each other.

So next time you wake up dreaming about Gilby Clarke from Rockstar:Supernova (okay, so I watch a lot of reality television) have no fear - there is absolutely nothing to feel badly about...

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Yes, you watch too much reality tv! The only person who's name I vaguely recognized was Elle McPherson. I'm a big believer in fantasies as well.

However...the deeper I've been getting into my current relationship, the more my dreams and fantasies have been replaced by only one guy in particular...the Boyfriend. Now what phenomenon is that?

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