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Masturbation and Relationships: Can the Two Go Hand in Hand? (pardon the pun)

So you come back from (insert location of choice) and find your guy (or girl) under the covers, alone....but certainly enjoying himself (or herself). Yep, you caught your partner masturbating. Big deal? I think not.

Why is it that so many people freak out when they realize that their boyfriends/girlfriends still spend time, quality time, pleasuring themselves? I know that most of it is insecurity. You're probably thinking, "Oh, but that means that I must not be satisfying him!" Ah...think again. You may be doing everything just right (and your partner may be thinking of you!!!!). But we're only human and that means that we are entitled to masturbate - whether we are married, partnered, dating, or single. Being in a relationship shouldn't preclude us from getting pleasure. Sometimes masturbation gets us revved up for sex with you, sometimes masturbation helps to put us to sleep after a long day at work, sometimes masturbation is just...well, it's just masturbation, it doesn't need any purpose other than it just feels so damn good.

Of course, let me qualify this. If you find that your partner is masturbating but your sex life (together) has gone down the tubes, then it may be time to talk about what exactly is going on in your relationship, because the solo time may be indicative of a larger issue. But if everything is status quo then what's the big deal? When we are children, we touch ourselves because it feels good. We're curious, and we aren't yet jaded by adult definitions of sexuality. Why does this have to change? Why do we always have to read into every little thing? Why do we make ourselves feel so guilty? Can't we all just get along? (Okay, that's a joke).

But let's keep one thing in mind here: Being caught (or catching someone) in the act can be arousing for us as well.  It can be the perfect jumping off point for a two-person tryst. And in the end, if it heightens the passion in our relationship, well, it can't be all that bad.

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