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Men Without Mobile Phones

Do you play "I Never"?  No, not that one.  See, whenever a relationship ends, I console myself by listing all the things I never have to deal with again.  After one particularly painful heartbreak, it was, "I never have to date a smoker again."  Once, it was, "I never have to date someone shorter than me again."

Now, I've got high hopes for The Boyfriend, I really do.  But if the end comes, I already know the "never."  I will never have to date anyone who doesn't have a mobile phone again.

I remember the world before mobile phones.  That world was dark, annoying, unconnected... and then came:  The Pager.  That's when my addiction to that little vibration started.  823 was "thinking of you," 143 was "I love you," and everyone had a code to tell you who was paging.

And then there were mobile phones.  Sure, some people worried about being too connected.  Never able to escape that call from work (apparently due to an inexplicable inability to use caller ID and explain that your phone was dead/broken/didn't have service).  People worry about never being able to disconnect.

I'm the exact opposite.  When I'm out and about, I want to get that call from a friend to meet them for lunch 5 minutes away.  Not drive all the way home, stopping for fast food, only to discover I could have had a decent meal with friendly conversation.

Out at the store, and suddenly want to know if you need milk - the roommate is a phone call away.

Sitting in traffic (and here in L.A., we SIT in traffic), that's when I reach out to my friends across the country.  If I didn't have that time, who knows when I'd call.  If I couldn't utilize that time, who knows how long I'd have before I was checking into a mental ward.

And what the heck was "long-distance," and why did it cost more?

The biggest boon, though, comes because I am always early.  This drove me crazy for years and years and years.  Arriving, waiting, no idea where peeps were, if I could go ahead and go in, did I miss them...  Now, I ring, and it's "where you at, and I'll be at the bar."  Seriously, since the advent of the mobile phone, my stress level over plan coordination has completely and thoroughly ceased.

Cut to:  The Boyfriend.  The Boyfriend sans mobile phone.  It's a no-win situation.

Certainly, I don't want to nag The Boyfriend into a monthly mobile phone bill.  And whether you can blog someone into the future remains to be seen.  It's his choice, and he's already played the, "if I miss out on something because I don't have a phone, that's my loss" card.

Of course, that's not really true.  It certainly could be my loss, too.  My frustration.  My problem.

Someday, my car will breakdown, and I won't be able to get in touch with my boyfriend to come help me.  Or something worse.  Yet, he will always be able to reach me.

And I hate that I can't get or send a text-message to/from The Boyfriend.  It's ironic: he says he's not a "phone person," and yet he's got no idea how text messaging sets you free.  Buzz, Buzz, idea communicated, done.

823 and 143 get written out now, but it works the same way.  A full technology circle.  An electronic kiss.

Sure, we lived without mobile phones for decades.  We also lived without air conditioning, ATMs and washing machines. 

But I've got no choice but to respect his choice, and it's killing me.  Once you've had a phone for a while, everything about it becomes so normal, expected.  If I need someone I call them.  If I leave them a message, I know they'll probably get it soon.

It's so weird to leave a message on his home answering machine.  I imagine my voice booming across his living room, and it totally freaks me out.

I just can't comprehend that he doesn't have one.  And that it doesn't drive him crazy.  After two months, I still reach to call him and then realize I can't.  And that planning stress?  Yeah, it's back, although so far there's not been any disasters.  But going for an airport pickup when both parties don't have phones doesn't make my day.

I can't help it.  I really wish he had a mobile phone.  And he doesn't.

Someone's going to find me rocking and muttering in a corner, "Respect, respect, respect... I must respect..."

But hey, I just want to be able to call my boyfriend and have him pick up the phone.  It's not like I'm expecting him to go all the way to BlackBerry.  E-mail access all the time?  Now that's just crazy-talk.


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LOL---I totally get what you mean! My best friend of years never got on the cell phone bandwagon until recently. It was very frustrating...if she got lost, she would call me from a pay phone! Everything has definitely been easier since she got connected!

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