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The Truth About MySpace

I finally got it. After years of trying to understand what the attraction to internet hook ups over face-to-face encounters was, I realized I needed to look at the “web-scoping” dynamic the same way I look at my vibrator: its just a toy.

Its no coincidence that now, four months after I met the man that I’ll most likely spend the rest of my life with, I can make sense of all those dating hassles that troubled me so and for so many years. I was just toying around. I may have fooled myself into believing that I’d meet the man of my dreams on, but honestly? I really wasn’t ready to stop playing.

First I tried I thought the fact it was the most popular dating site at the time meant it was a credible place to meet the highest quality dating prospects. This is a joke. Although I know people who met by internet and later married, I think blind luck is the catalyst for the more successful dot com relationships; the more serious the relationship, the dumber the luck. I envied people who stepped into this luck, but I never saw that happening to me. I was too busy weighing options and clicking my way to one exciting hook up after another. It was fun.

MySpace is the worst and the best example of this theory. During the past year MySpace was anointed the most popular website in the country. I guess a lot of us want to play around. And what shaped my particular opinion is the fact that I became a member for other reasons than to scope and play.

I left my full-time job and started my writing and consulting business about a year ago. I created a MySpace page a few months prior to see if it would be a good place to network, find interesting subjects for articles and meet clients. It was! I connected to so many folks in the media business, people that I wouldn’t otherwise have known of, and it indeed led to much work, party invitations and paychecks. But damn if I didn’t need to weed out several messages every day from guys applying the A.B.C. rule of sales to scoping: Always Be Closing. It didn’t matter to them that my profile didn’t include any bikini shots or the not-so-subtle pleas for “a nice guy,” they saw an attractive woman and gave it a try.

So I started asking around. I studied the sites of guys casting their lines out to me when I make it clear that I’m swimming in a different pond. They seem to spend several hours a day on MySpace, put much energy into improving their total “friends” count and send the same comments to the every woman. Women are doing the same.

Isn’t this the same energy we put into emailing, pix and text messaging and music downloading? We do love our toys don’t we?


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i have a question...but i'm to nervous to ask where people can see it. would you be able to contact me please. thanks so much.

You are so dead on - Internet dating is such a game! And sometimes people get lucky, but I prefer the old fashioned way myself. :)

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