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When Your Relationship Status Meets Your Online Bio

I’ve got online bios. With a big plural on “bioS.” I’m on Friendster and Myspace and Blogher and some smaller community sites. Wherever you go in the blogosphere lately, you’re setting up a bio.

And there’s that question:  “Status.”  Easy when you’re single; complicated when you’re entering a new relationship.

I mean, seriously, I’m 35 years old and the thought of asking my boyfriend to please change his Myspace bio to “in a relationship” is just kinda embarrassing. It even makes me feel a little vulnerable. Yeah, like, in a really, really lame way.

Sometimes you can just remove your status entirely. Sometimes you can’t. What if I change my status to “in a relationship” too soon? What if he thinks it means something he doesn’t want it to mean? Is that even possible? I’ll tell you one thing, it at least means no more messages from random men in my inbox, and that’s just fine with me.

Years ago I dated someone somewhat anti-Internet (scary, I know), and his stand was that “single” meant “not married” and he wasn’t married. He’s engaged now, and his Myspace says “single” to this day. I guess that works, but I continue to regard it with suspicion. And by suspicion I think I mean irritation.

The evil one who cheated on me and didn’t like the word “boyfriend” never changed his online status either. And I never asked him about it. I sometimes wondered what he thought regarding the fact that I had changed mine to “in a relationship” (because we WERE), but ultimately I figured, it’s my bio, it’s accurate, and now I don’t get e-mails from random men. Hm, I’m sensing a theme.

So recently I’ve been thinking, I’ve changed mine, should I ask him to change his? Do I even care? Is it stupid? Well, yeah, it’s totally stupid.

Right?

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Comments

LOL...the profile quandry. Ack!

I have way too many profiles all over the internet. So---does it mean every single time I'm in a relationship, I have to fill the scores of profiles to change it appropriately? After all, it's not like I'm using any of the sites to meet guys---they are there strictly for internet informational purposes. So really, what does it matter? I change the ones I use most often--like my Myspace & hi5 profiles. Everything else gets the backseat until I get around to it...no pressure.

One of my exes that I had met online made this big brouhaha about the fact that he had changed his American Singles profile to "In a Relationship" and put his profile on hold and I hadn't done so to mine yet (we had been dating for about 4 weeks at that point). He actually re-started his membership to check my profile 2 weeks later to make sure I had changed it. Now that seriously pissed me off...the whole checking up on me part!

As for asking him to change his---that's a dicey one. If it bothers u that much, then by all means mention it, but it's also going to be in the way you approach the topic. Because if you end up throwing a hissy fit and logging in constantly to check whether he's changed it, then you could turn out to be like my ex...neurotic about it.

I don't think it's a big deal. He's expressed that you guys are exclusive right? He's not seeing anyone else right? He totally digs you...right?

So what does it matter?

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