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Condoms - Buying 'Em and Using 'Em

I'm just going to admit this right up front.  After I'd been cheated on and realized that even in a monogamous relationship I was going to have to use condoms, I wasn't happy.  I wasn't pro-condom and a little part of me thought I was never going to enjoy sex again.  "Well, you're just going to have to use them," I told myself.  "Nothing's worth an STD or worse - not even condom-free sex."

Lucky for me, right as I was beginning to use condoms again, Elexa was knocking on my door.

When I started thinking about having sex for the first time after the whole being cheated on thing, I decided to go buy condoms.  I went to the store and looked at a whole section of them.  Totally confusing, but I picked some out.

The Boyfriend was like, "You know, I already have some."

But I wanted to buy them.  I was committed to using them, and somehow buying them felt like a step I wanted to take.  A way to say, OK, I am deciding to have sex now, and I am taking positive, responsible steps in that direction.

And when it came time to use them, and once I was at the point of actually thinking about the condom as opposed to sex-hooray!-sex-hooray!, they were OK.  Not as bad as I remembered.  A little rough, but definitely still good.  There was a bit of that trampoline effect I'm definitely not a fan of.

And then we tried our first Elexa condom.  I couldn't believe there would actually be a difference, but people, there really is.  And if it wasn't my truth, even though I write for Elexa, I wouldn't say it. 

The Boyfriend and I have other condoms left over from my first purchase, but seriously, they're going to expire.  The Elexa condoms are just better.   More like there isn't a condom there at all.  Our favorites are the Natural Feel ones (blue), but the Ultra Sensitive ones (purple) are good, too.  They look like they're smaller in the package, and I guess they probably are a bit, but they're actually just really a lot thinner.  I'm not as fond of the Stimulating ones (pink), but want to try them in missionary position before I completely discount them for us.  (Honey, something for our things-to-do list this weekend?)

Here's some more blog posts about buying and using condoms:

In case you missed it, our own Vixen posted about "My First Time Buying Condoms."

The Portland Independent Media Center has this great article, "Size Matters When We’re Talking About Condoms."  (You might want to forward this on to every man in your life.)

Les Jones has a funny little post called "Funny Ha-Ha > Buying Condoms."

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Comments

Hi Amy,

You know, I think that's a good question, because it's smart to consider what you're projecting. That said, *you* know who you are and *why* you're carrying condoms - whatever that reason may be. And I think that if you are confident and strong, then if someone jumps to an odd conclusion, then that just isn't your problem.

Think about it this way, would you rather not have condoms out of fear of how you might be perceived, or have condoms and be safe and smart no matter what anyone thinks? I think that if a guy thinks you're "easy" - and what does that even mean, really? - because you are taking charge of your sexual health, then who cares what he thinks anyway?

Also, here's a thought. I always say "I'm a safety girl!" and am always really pro safe sex and having condoms. And if someone questions me and seems to be digging at me, sometimes I'll say, hey, you never know when a friend might need a condom, and I want all my friends to know that they can come to me and be safe, because I want my friends to value their sexual health as much as I value mine. I think that's a great, positive way to deflect any negative attitudes towards carrying condoms.

Liz, do you think having and carrying your own condoms makes guys think you are easy or smart?

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