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Let's Talk About Sex...to Anyone Who Will Listen

Did you know that October is Let's Talk month? Technically, it is designed to encourage parents to talk to their children and teens about sex (which you know I wholeheartedly support and write about quite frequently). But I feel like we can reinterpret this to fit any of our individual needs.

Let's Talk with Our Partners: When is the last time you had a heart to heart about what you desired in and out of the bedroom? When was the last time that you shared your fantasies? If you don't talk about your needs, your safer sex preferences, your sexual health, is it possible for your relationship to progress? (That doesn't mean marriage, by the way, it just means the opportunity for greater fulfillment). If we don't share with our partners, we contribute to the demise of a relationship or worse, we contribute to a stagnant relationship - one that doesn't go anywhere.

Let's Talk to Ourselves: I am a big believer in masturbation. If you don't know what turns you on, how is a partner (especially one without a clitoris) supposed to figure it out? Finding the Holy Grail might be easier. I think October can be a month when we get to know ourselves better, and start being honest with ourselves about where we would like to be in life (and not just sexually). Is it time for a change? If we haven't bothered to check in with ourselve in a while, this is the perfect time to think about what we hope 2007 is going to look like.

Let's Talk to Our Friends: As I am "in the field" so to speak, my friends are quite used to me getting fairly explicit with them. Especially when I think that they are doing something quite stupid thoughtless. For example, I am concerned that my friends (who recently had a baby and do not want to have another one right away) think that using the "pull and pray" method of birth control is smart. Withdrawal is not an effective practice - for STDs or pregnancy. So, in an effort to mark October as "Let's Talk to My Friends" month, I convinced my girlfriend to talk to her husband about reintroduing condoms into their sex life. I think she might have told him, "I will never have sex without a condom again". (I did send her Elexa condoms to insure that in the heat of the moment they couldn't say, "Oh we don't have any" as an excuse). While her husband was initially not that pleased with me, after I threw him a couple of vibrating rings he seemed to forget why he was mad at me in the first place. But as a friend, it is my responsibility to give my friends (as well as strangers) the best advice possible.

Let's Talk to the World: Advocacy is a huge part of the Elexa Sexy Smart campaign. If you believe in comprehensive sexuality education, reproductive rights, the power of the condom, and equal rights for all, this is the time to get involved. We have an election coming up. Let your voice be heard! Our freedom to act as a healthy sexual beings continues to be up for grabs. Don't let the power that we are so entitled to slip right out of our hands.

(I have to say that the spirit of this post was motivated by Elexa's new Buy a Box, Give a Box campagain - but on the grassroots level, we all have an opportunity to change our sexual present and future).

So LET'S TALK - to whomever will listen. And if you ever need a sounding board, I'll always be here.

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