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« Drugs & Sex | Main | "I Hate Your Boyfriend": Do You Tell A Friend? »

Holidays together? Holidays apart?

My boyfriend went home for Thanksgiving, and no, I didn't go with him.

I remember being a girl who would connive to manipulate things into being what I wanted.  Swing the family invite and try to push the relationship to where I wanted it to be.  For better or for worse, I'm not that girl anymore.

"You can come" is not an invite I'm interested in.  Especially when I've managed years of holidays boyfriend-free.

I let things be what they are now.  I expect some effort on The Boyfriend's part.  I trust that when he knows what he wants he'll express it clearly.  And I won't settle for less.

So I told The Boyfriend that there wasn't any reason to rush into holidays.  I certainly wasn't interested in going and then being told not to read too much into it or any such nonsense.  If we're not there yet, why can't we just hold off on spending holidays together with one family or the other?

Why can't things just take the time they naturally take?

I don't know though.  Sometimes I get the feeling he wants me to do the heavy lifting.  Or the sense that by not being a weak girl, I'm being misperceived.  As though there was some rule that I'm not really into him if I don't lose myself.

I can't help it.  I've lost all interest in those sorts of games.  I want to be with someone who wants to be with me, and that requires unqualified invitations and clear statements of intent.

My heart's too sensitive these days to accept anything less.


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