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Trust & Love

In relationships, trust is one of the foundation stones. The thing about trust is that it's usually given without reservations, until it's broken. Once it is, trust is one of the hardest things to ever get back---sometimes nigh impossible.

I'll be the first to admit to my flaws (as many as they are). I'm a true cynic when it comes to guys. Experience has shown me that it's better to take everything they say or do at face value and with a healthy dose of skepticism until shown otherwise. Usually because most of the time, they talk up a good game and then can't deliver.

However that also backfires soundly. You start worrying over the most trivial things, when if you trusted implicitly it would not be an issue at all. You fret and agonize over every single issue that pops up, eventually worrying yourself into an insecure, needy spot and turning your relationship into a self-fulfilling prophecy of your own disbelief. And then we wonder why there are no good guys left, and why every man we end up with ends up being untrustworthy. Thinking the worse of someone until they have proven themselves worthy of your trust isn't the right thing to do, and in addition it's quite exhausting.

So, how does a woman of this century protect her heart and still remain optimistic at the same time?

First of all I think it starts within yourself. You are your own greatest foe when it comes to relationships. Figure out what your relationship patterns are, the kind of men you keep getting tangled with and what baggage from your past you are still holding on to. Then systematically analyze and break it all down, finding associations and correlations that you might not think of initially . Because at the end of the day, the common denominator in all your failed relationships is...you.

Secondly, cleanse your heart, mind, soul, body and spirit from all the negative influences that have clouded your perspective and your life (which include friends, families, exes, music etc.) Also bear in mind that the television, magazines and books have the ability to cloud your mind as well. Cleanse yourself totally inside and out. Take up a sport, yoga or martial arts. Reconnect with your spirit, your conscience, your God. Do whatever you have to do to get back to the happy, fulfilled and inspiring person that you were before you dipped your toes into this crazy thing called love.

When you have developed yourself into the phenomenal, radiant woman you are, only then do you get back into meeting people and developing relationships. Network, be social, be gracious and keep yourself open to every possibility that comes your way. Because really, you don't know if the guy who is right for you is the guy next door or down the street. Only by keeping yourself open to every possibility will you find the gem you seek. Remember, he's not going to charge in on a white horse in shining armor, filling every single one of the checks on your 344-point list---Mr. Right might even come in a whole different package.

Last but not least. Trust. Trust even though everything in you is screaming not to. Trust that every experience and person you meet is just another stepping stone to your ideal self. Trust in him until he's shown himself approved (or not).

Your thoughts?

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