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You and Your Partner, Grumpy Together

The Boyfriend and I were stressed out.  At the same time.  Grump.  Grump.  Grump.

Relationships are supposed to see-saw, aren't they? You take turns cheering each other up through the stressful times? Ah, well, only when you're lucky.

I thought, perhaps all this grumpiness will lead to a period of mutually delirious joy and happiness? If we're really lucky.

Mostly, I guess, the trick is not to make it worse for each other. For example, when The Boyfriend came to pick me up at the airport a couple weeks ago, my snapping, "What, you don't get out of the car to help me?" might not have been the best choice.

Followed by his saying, "I didn't think luggage was a two-person job." Read = what are you, a weak loser who needs help with bags? Also, maybe not the best choice.

But when I take a step back I see two things: 1. I hardly ever let anyone help me with my bags. I really can handle them just fine, and the whole reason I wanted help was because I was stressed out and miserable, leading to 2. If I wanted help, perhaps asking for it might have been a better call. It certainly wouldn't have left the two of us driving home, miserable. I'd been dying to see him, and now there we were, silently driving up the 405, and how do you turn it around? How do you take some steps back?

At the time, I was really hurt that he didn't jump out of the car to greet me and see if I needed help, but having started a big blah over it, I felt even worse. And it turned out he wasn't feeling well either, so my timing was superb.

As we slowly crept up the 405, we slowly talked our way through it. You can't really go back, but you have to move forward. A week later, we were still crawling out of the blahs. Seemed like everything we said was wrong or off. Holiday stress meets work stress and travel stress. A happy time.

And the only thing to do is to think before you speak and have faith that the happy will return in good time.

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Comments

I think the happy does come back...sometimes a bit slower than you would want, but eventually it does. We can't be happy all the time, and remember, true happiness starts from within. So besides some psycho babble what else can I offer you today....nothing I guess, lol!

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