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I'm back in the single again.

I wish this was a post about quitting.  I wish this was a post about giving up on love.

I even had it planned.  I'd even thought, If this one doesn't work out, I'm done.

You know that loss of freedom you feel when you find yourself back in a relationship? It's like a sudden change of altitude. I've asked myself, can I afford this? I want to be a film and/or television director. It's a really long road, and one that many people find difficult to live on.

I worry that my partner won't understand when my life changes. Or if it never does. I worry that a partner will hold me back. Expect me to change someday. Won't believe in me. Won't understand.

I have friends who never date and only work.  They say that's what it takes.  I think there's a strong chance they're right.

I got laid off in December, single in January - I don't have any pets anymore, and I'm as free as I have ever been. Free to take any opportunity that pays enough, at least. No matter what or where it is. No matter how many hours a week it requires. My debt is my one encumbrance, as always, but I did manage to make some pretty solid progress in the last year.

I'm free to walk away from love.  I'm free to spend my next few years totally and completely focused on my dreams.

So I thought about writing a post declaring I was done with love.

Trouble was, every time I went to write it, it felt like a lie.


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That's because it is a lie. Its just so frustrating you pray sometimes you can cut that part of your heart out. Complete freedom is lonely sometimes, but very rewarding too. I can definitely relate!


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