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Chemistry, Our Fickle Mistress

That mysterious connection, that intangible thing that makes your words trip, your heart race, your mind wander:  Chemistry.  I've felt it; it's definitely real.

Yet sadly, so often it doesn't hold the meaning we wish that it would.  Even as sometimes it does.

I can think of a couple of guys I dated with whom I had amazing chemistry and horrible breakups.  I definitely think there's an inverse relationship there!  When you're madly crazy about someone, it cuts deep when you rip it away.

Then again, I can think of men in who's presence I've had trouble stringing sentences together due to my attraction, and yet I had absolutely no real romantic interest in them.  And since I don't do the casual sex thing, I truly mean absolutely no romantic interest.  Either they were taken, or simply not my type for one reason or another.

There's something else, too, though.  And it's more back to the horrible breakups.  The thing about being madly in love - the kind of love that comes with chemistry - is that it hurts so much when it doesn't work out.  Lately, I sometimes feel my reaction to chemistry in a whole new way.  Like cat paws on the side of a bathtub.

Oh, sure, you say that water's simply warm, but I don't want to get burned.

Am I afraid to fall madly in love again?

Truth be told, I think I am.

The question is, can you find love without chemistry?  Or does true love require it?

Because if it does, I'm going to have to get braver.  I'm going to have to jump in again, and honestly, sometimes I'm not sure I can.

At least not alone.


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