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Why Some Nice Guys are Creepy

Scared Bunny wrote a really great post on his thoughts on nice guys and why a huge population of them usually end up getting screwed. I tend to stay away from nice guys---not because of the 'Bad Boy' syndrome but because I'm too opinionated for my own damn good and end up walking all over the garden variety of nice guys. I'm not saying that nice guy = wuss but I'm saying that if a nice guy had an edge to him, and some cajones then he would have a better chance with the average girl.

I'm not going to copy everything he says...go read it, it's eye-opening, but both guys and ladies alike can learn from this post. I've set in bold the parts that resonated with me.

This guy picks a single girl and is loyal to her even though they have never gone on a date. This guy will treat a girl like his girlfriend within hours of meeting her, instead of getting to know what she’s like. This guy thinks that telling a woman everything about him on their first date and thinks that makes him “open and honest”. A “nice guy” thinks it’s the end of the world when a woman he has never met breaks her promise to call. This guy is the reason roses are so friggin' expensive and cliché, making it harder for the rest of us to send flowers. In short, most "nice guys" seem like they are one bad day away from becoming stalkers.

Guys, I have been a “nice guy”. I even got dates while I was a “nice guy”. Do you know what happened? I attracted women who were either so damaged that I was suddenly expected to be a “support system”, or they were scammers who knew they could take me for every cent I had. Normal women didn’t want to have anything to do with me because I seemed desperate and pathetic. And, frankly, for a while I was.

“Nice guys” are always talking about how women do them wrong, but if you have been “burned” 20 times in 2 years, don’t expect sympathy from me because someone who keeps doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is a moron. The reason you get burned is because 1) your behavior is attracting the wrong women and 2) you have way too broad a definition of “burned” and you take things way too personal.

Now, here is the problem. People seem to have a misunderstanding of what nice is. Nice means that you are not an asshole. That is all that it means. All those women you see dating asshats that convince you that only asshats get girls? They are the female equivalent of “nice guys” and they are attracting the male users because a user is going to want someone they can use. You aren’t noticing the girls that are attracted to normal guys because they don’t interest you. You like damaged women. And the only damaged women that will date you are not the kind that date asshats.

If you want to stop this cycle, you are the one that has to change. Until you start admitting you are the one at fault, you will continue to get screwed over, and you will continue to be unhappy.
And the people around you that know you are “nice” are going to get sick of hearing your sob stories, and you will start to lose friends too. Plus, you run the risk of turning in to one of the “asshats” because of all the anger built up in you. And, trust me, karma catches up with everyone eventually, even if you don’t realize it.

In addition, I would like to say that there is a select breed of Nice Guys that are really great guys, have cajones, and know how to pick great women. It's  a shame that they aren't more of them and it seems like they are far and few in between. Here's a huge thumbs up to Scared Bunny for eloquently hitting the nail on the head with this one.

Do you agree or disagree with this?

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