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65 million Americans are currently living with an STD.* And Women are twice as likely as men to contract an STD.* Find out how you can make a difference. Join the Cause. Visit elexabytrojan.com.

*Source: American Social Health Association

Living Life and Falling in Love

I recently came across a new dating website called Lifeknot. You are probably wondering...why would someone start a new dating website when there are a bajillion other dating websites out there like Match, EHarmony & Myspace that have already cornered the market?

Well, the people at Lifeknot have come up with a really interesting niche. They believe that you should just live your life and pursue it to the fullest extent of happiness and love will follow. It's based on the premise that when you pursue your hobbies, interests, lifestyle and beliefs, you will eventually find someone that shares one of your interests and this creates an instant bonding platform. According to their user friendly website:

"Online dating sites rush people into the relationship stage of a friendship and social networking sites link you to so many people that the intimacy of establishing a few close friends is lost. Lifeknot’s combination of personal and activity profiles strikes the perfect balance between the two.

Lifeknot members frequently suggest new activities as they seek people that share their interests and passions–passions as diverse as sled dog racing, sushi, scrabble, sailing, shiatsu, hiking, home brewing, horseback riding, biking, beekeeping, body surfing, and belly dancing to name a few.

Lifeknot Activity Profiles permit people to show a side of themselves that isn't conveyed through traditional personality profiles alone. As a result, people feel more comfortable contacting each other; activities shared serve as icebreakers and provide the reassurance that interests are other than skin deep."

The website has over 1200 activities that people are enrolled for. The best part is that it's totally FREE! You can find activities in your area, or try activities while in another city. There are over 1200 categories and they are all user suggested. Which means if you don't find something that fits you, you can also make your own clique. How cool is that?

If I were single, this would be one avenue that I would give a whirl. So here's to all my lovely singletons---try it out and let me know what happens. You will probably have the time of your life!

Why Some Nice Guys are Creepy

Scared Bunny wrote a really great post on his thoughts on nice guys and why a huge population of them usually end up getting screwed. I tend to stay away from nice guys---not because of the 'Bad Boy' syndrome but because I'm too opinionated for my own damn good and end up walking all over the garden variety of nice guys. I'm not saying that nice guy = wuss but I'm saying that if a nice guy had an edge to him, and some cajones then he would have a better chance with the average girl.

Continue reading "Why Some Nice Guys are Creepy" »

Home Shopping for 'Female Stuff'

Ever had a moment when you had to go to the drugstore to get a pregnancy test or yeast infection meds and just cringed knowing that you would have to go through a checkout counter with your purchases? So you hastily grab a few other things that you don't even remotely need to try to hide your real purchases. And on top of that imagine running into one of your neighbours or friends while waiting in line...yikes! Well, the good people at PinkApple have taken all the embarrassment away from you. You can now order all your feminine products; from condoms, ovulation kits, pregnancy kits, supplements, massage oils, books and the like all online. You don't have to have any of those uber embarrassing moments ever again.

The packages are usually shipped the same business day of ordered, and come to your place in a discrete package marked PCPD, LLC with no outside marking even signifying what they are. That way you can ship it to work;) In addition, there is online tracking and lovely discounts given for return customers.

Check out their really cool website HERE.

A Woman's Mantra

One of my favorite bloggettes, the Mistress wrote an excellent post today about how a woman should empower herself first before she seeks out a relationship. She noted how us ladies tend to bend over backwards and turn ourselves into pretzels for the sake of a relationship....and a crappy one at that. Instead of finding a great guy that will treat us properly, we waste our time, money, tears, heart and emotions hanging to bad guys, philanderers, cheats, abusers and pretty much every single Mr. Wrong we can find.

Even Oprah recently confessed that she was in a wonky relationship for 4 years, begging and grovelling for some respect from a guy who didn't appreciate her, treated her like crap and constantly rejected her. OPRAH!

The Mistress went on to post a list of what should be every woman's mantra in regards to men, love and relationships. It's something that we all instinctively know, yet disregard anyway. So let's take accountability for our own actions in regards to our happiness. Stop putting up with less than you deserve...aim high and let's work on ourselves and our own character before we get into relationships.

Continue reading "A Woman's Mantra" »

Blog for Choice Day

Today is Blog for Choice Day and I am writing because CHOICE represents more than reproductive freedom. CHOICE represents comprehensive sexuality education, civil rights, and whether or not I can get a Brazilian bikini wax. It is all part and parcel of being in control of your body and getting access to accurate, healthy information.

Continue reading "Blog for Choice Day" »

Hi Tech - Lo Sex

I have a friend who sleeps with his Blackberry Crackberry on his nightstand so that he can communicate all night long. Needless to say, his girlfriend is not thrilled by this behavior...because they no longer have sex and because he's becoming a big tech geek (not that that's always a bad thing).

Continue reading "Hi Tech - Lo Sex" »

New Year's Sex Resolution

Okay, I'll be the cliche blogger that actually posts about resolutions. Every woman when thinking of your New Year's resolutions should incorporate her desires in the realm of romance and sex into her New Year's resolutions.  You don't want to just grow in some areas of your life...you want to grow in all of them, right? And the boudoir should be one.

The New Year is an opportunity to close a previous chapter and spark a fresh angle to the next chapter of life, and it is important to be open and explore the new romantic possibilities and actually discuss them with your lover.  I'm sure he would love to add new passionate ways to have sex to your repertoire, as well as new places and props, but this would be a great time to also bring up a discussion about consistent safe sex. Once a lady gets into a relationship, she gets on birth control and thinks that it's okay to no longer practice safe sex. But the prevalence and spread of STDs via women is still at a rapidly growing rate, and only we can be champions of our own sexual health.

This discussion as a part of a New Year's Resolution can revitalize and further intensify our sex life and also reinforce our trust and communication.  Remember, it is not only okay but essential to communicate about these things and the New Year presents us with a golden opportunity.  Take advantage of it!      

Blogging Your Boyfriend - How Much is Too Much?

My boyfriend likes my blogging.  When we first started dating and he was into the whole blogging thing, I was glad of it.  After all, I've watched a lot of Sex and the City, and while they've certainly covered Carrie's column, they never (that I've seen so far) address how Carrie's columns affect her dating life.

Yet, it's no secret that being written about - the private becoming public - isn't everyone's cup of tea.

Continue reading "Blogging Your Boyfriend - How Much is Too Much?" »

Condoms on Campus - Nonexistent?

I haven't blogged in a while...vacation seems to fry my brain. What is supposed to recharge my batteries actually makes me a bit groggy. But have no fear, I'm back, ready to tackle all that our society has to throw at us (or all that we create for that matter). Today's issue - a recent blog in the Huffington Post.

Continue reading "Condoms on Campus - Nonexistent?" »

Christmas Shopping & Doing Good

The gift-giving industry is an annually 51-billion dollar industry. All this money is going to pockets that are just getting richer and richer instead of to where it really should be going to---the less fortunate. While doing your Christmas shopping this year, how about you put your dollars towards a loftier goal as well?

World of Good is a company dedicated to bringing quality, unique handicrafts to a wider mainstream market. Local artisans all over the world in third world countries design and manufacture every single item by hand. On the website you can find bright, unique gifts ranging from baskets, journals, scarves, jewelry and accessories. Everything is custom made with authentic cultural products and only the finest craftmanship is involved.

Continue reading "Christmas Shopping & Doing Good" »

Positive Affirmations

It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. ~ Muhammad Ali

I'm a regular reader on Moxie's blog. She got me thinking about the power of words and how your positive affirmation can impact your life. Earlier this year, she wrote a list of affirmations and put it next to her mirror. Every morning she would read them and state them with conviction until eventually all of them came true. Every single one.

Now I don't know if those are the typical results, but I do know that the mind is a very powerful organ. You have the power of the universe at your disposal and the only thing stopping you from attaining and reaching whatever goal you set for yourself is your own doubt and fear. Yes---I am talking to myself as well.

So take the lead. Pray for favor and God's grace to show you the way he wants you to go to reach your full potential. Make your affirmations in present tense, as if you already have reached all those goals. Place specific dates of completion on them and cancel them out when you reach that goal. I'm going to work on my list right now.

Have you ever done this? If so, what were your results?

Sexy: In the Attitude or in the Jeans?

I have to say, I'm surprised we haven't covered it before...but seeing as the word "Sexy" is in the first half of this blog's name, I think it's about time to talk about what "sexy" really means.

Continue reading "Sexy: In the Attitude or in the Jeans?" »

Sleazy Men in American Culture, Part I

In addition to welcoming your nominations of such men, I have chosen to begin today's post with two of my own personal nominations (in no particular order, however, these were the two who bothered me today): Ted Haggard and Kevin Federline.

Continue reading "Sleazy Men in American Culture, Part I" »

How Big is Too Big?

Today on the Today Show, we talked about May-December relationships, or as I like to call them "March-September" romances, as people are living longer, healthier lives. But how large of an age gap is too large? Is there such a thing as age incompatibility?

Continue reading "How Big is Too Big?" »

The Milk Was Free, and That's Okay

Do all women want to be married? Yeah, I didn't think so...but apparently, there are some so-called "experts" that are desperate to help women get hitched.

Continue reading "The Milk Was Free, and That's Okay" »

Women Helping Women

Moxie has a great post on her blog about the power of positive thinking. She was walking down the street one day, thinking about a troubling conversation that she had just had with her father a few hours before, looking down and frowning. A woman passed her on the street and stopped her, saying with a smile, "Keep your head up, baby. Life's not so bad."

Continue reading "Women Helping Women" »

Trojan Sexual Health Report Card: Does Your School Make the Grade?

How does your college rank?

I wanted to share with you some news released by Trojan this week. Trojan launched the Sexual Health Report Card which is the first survey that grades the sexual health of colleges and universities across the country and ranks them.

Continue reading "Trojan Sexual Health Report Card: Does Your School Make the Grade?" »

The Trinity: Religion, Prostitution, and Publicity

My friend, Suzanne Reisman (who blogs at CUSS and Other Rants and BlogHer), made me aware of a story that I think warrants some attention. It's the story of a woman who hasn't had it easy: multiple children by multiple fathers, abuse, prostitution, pornography, and frequent appearances on the Howard Stern Show. But it's actually the church that she has "founded" that makes me want to talk about her.

Continue reading "The Trinity: Religion, Prostitution, and Publicity" »

The Pleasure of Pleasuring (Orally, that is).

Have you heard of the Blowjob Wars? Yes, there is quite a debate going on in the Blogosphere about whether or not women actually enjoy giving blowjobs. And whether or not giving blowjobs is a slap in the face to feminists everywhere. Can you believe this?

Continue reading "The Pleasure of Pleasuring (Orally, that is)." »

Women in the Blogosphere Update!

I hope everyone won't mind me jumping on again today to toot my own horn a little bit.  I checked in with BlogTalkRadio today and discovered that I am a finalist in their Women in the Blogosphere series!

Continue reading "Women in the Blogosphere Update!" »

Women in the Blogosphere

I just got word of some exciting news! Both Liz Rizzo and I have been nominated as semi-finalists for Blog Talk Radios Women in the Blogosphere Series as a result of our posts on ElexaSexySmart.com  Finalists will be announced on Friday August 25th, and we will be sure to keep everyone posted.  Log onto  http://blogtalkradio.blogspot.com/2006/08/women-who-rock-blogosphere.html to read the full announcement of semi-finalists.

Asking the Right Questions About Sex

The highly intelligent Dr. Annie from Smart at Love has a really important post on her blog this week. She asked 200 respondants to take a survey on her website and in it found out that only half of them actually ask the truly important questions about sexual health before getting intimate with your partner. Instead, we waste our time asking trivial questions, like  "Do these jeans make me look fat?", "Is she hotter than me?" and  "Would you ever sleep with my best friend?"

Why do we prioritize superficial aspects first and our sexual health last? Is it because we are shy? Is it because we don't want to truthfully examine our own past behaviors? Is it because we are so hot for him that regardless of what he says we will sleep with him anyway? There could be several reasons for this trend, but in this day and age---they are all excuses. We've got to ask the hard questions. Even if it might be a mood-killer, it opens the channels of communication and keeps you safe. It's better to know what you might be dealing with sooner rather than later. Knowledge is power. Stay safe. Stay smart. Ask!

Before engaging in any sexual encounter with a member of the opposite sex, it's very important to ask the crucial sex questions. No hanky panky until your questions have been answered to your satisfaction. You are the one in charge of your sexual well-being, so don't balk at this. Annie enumerates these questions on her site.

  • Are you married?
  • Are you sleeping with other people?
  • Are you already involved with someone else?
  • Do you use condoms? What percentage of the time?
  • Do you use any drugs?
  • Do you have an STD? Have you ever had an STD? If so what and were you treated for it?
  • Have you been tested for HIV/AIDS? When was your last test?

Read the rest of Dr. Annie's article HERE.

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Logan Levkoff Logan Levkoff
Sexologist/Relationship Expert/TV Personality/Advice Columnist
Liz Rizzo Liz Rizzo
Writer/Director
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Bad Girls Rule
Yvonne Fulbright Yvonne Fulbright
Sexologist/Sex Educator
Kellie Murphy Kellie Murphy
Journalist
Pepper Schwartz Pepper Schwartz
Professor of Sociology, University of Washington

Recent Comments

I think that lifeknot is a good idea that has not been done before. With so many other sites out there, it's hard to navigate the good ones from the bad apples. I found Read More >>

Posted by: CC | Jan 14, 2008 12:39:03 PM

Hah! I was emotionally unavailable for about 8 years of my twenties - too many problems at home and at work to focus on men. Result? There was one guy interested in me during those 8 years (!one!)-... Read More >>

Posted by: duh | Jan 6, 2008 2:02:10 AM

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